Patience is something that I never had, until recently. I wanted things to happen on my timing. For years, I made that happen…everything from cars to vacation properties to relationships. I was told, by friends and family, to wait on making big purchases and don’t rush the relationship. I, also, had gut feelings, at times, to wait. Me being me, I did what I wanted when I wanted. The when was, usually, NOW. That mentality got me into a world of trouble…financially and mentally. I lost, almost, everything I had, materially, and was, literally, losing my mind. Even during this, I was trying to fix the problem. I didn’t want help because I was proud and felt help made me look weak. Deep down I knew I needed to give it to God, but I still wanted things to happen NOW, so I continued to do things my way. What I wasn’t seeing was that I was being prepared for something far greater than what I couldn’t ever imagined for myself. I had to face those trials and tribulations to grow. I had to experience that hurt and discomfort and come out of it because there was someone I was meant to help. HONEST MOMENT: I was pissed at God for a long time. I couldn’t understand how I could be going through stuff the way I was and not feel relief. The moment I realized every tear I cried, every sleepless night, every bounced check was God’s way of getting MY attention, I surrendered. He wanted me to acknowledge him as Almighty..not money and not my relationships. It didn’t matter what I had/have planned for my life. God’s plan and timing is what matters. I’m not where I want to be, but I thank God I’m not where I used to be. I embrace what everyday holds and know I’m in that moment for a reason. “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” ~Romans 5:3-4~
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