Category Archives: Romans



I used to say, “I hate my life,” “This gets on my nerves, “I’m tired of struggling,” and “When are things going to change?” Everything that came out of my mouth was as negative as negative comes. Keep in mind, because I was living it, I didn’t see it as negative. I saw it as speaking on what was, actually, happening. I didn’t realize what I was speaking out and thinking is what was happening. Over the course of five years, I went through hell…mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally. I didn’t see the positive in ANYTHING. I was ready to give up and die. Most of us have been at this place a time, or three, if we are honest with ourselves. We get so wrapped up in the problems we see and how to handle them or not handle them, that we forget how blessed we are. “Sometimes it takes an overwhelming breakdown to have an undeniable breakthrough.” DISCLAIMER: I was not, always, where I am today, and I, still, have a long ways to go…BUT…I had to learn to be thankful for what, and who, I did and do have. I didn’t have three cars anymore, but I had a reliable car to get me and my daughter around. I couldn’t go out to eat everyday, but I always had food to eat. I couldn’t go to the beach every weekend and walk around, but I had, full, use of my legs to walk downtown for FREE. While I was busy complaining about what I didn’t have, there were so many people who would’ve loved to have had half of what I had. I was, constantly, at it with my daughter and complaining, when there are parents who can’t have children or have lost a child. Most of all, I was blessed with life, day after day, to fight another day. People’s struggle may be similar, but will not be the same. My struggles, over the past five years, are the best things that could’ve happened to me. They brought me closer to my daughter, I learned more about myself, I have a vision for my life, my purpose has been made clearer, I have a greater appreciation for the smaller things in life, and I have a relationship with God. No matter how dark things seem, from experience I tell you to, get out of your head for a second and find the smallest thing possible to be thankful for…That one thought is a GAME CHANGER on your life’s journey.

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later.” ~Romans 8:18~


Patience is something that I never had, until recently. I wanted things to happen on my timing. For years, I made that happen…everything from cars to vacation properties to relationships. I was told, by friends and family, to wait on making big purchases and don’t rush the relationship. I, also, had gut feelings, at times, to wait. Me being me, I did what I wanted when I wanted. The when was, usually, NOW. That mentality got me into a world of trouble…financially and mentally. I lost, almost, everything I had, materially, and was, literally, losing my mind. Even during this, I was trying to fix the problem. I didn’t want help because I was proud and felt help made me look weak. Deep down I knew I needed to give it to God, but I still wanted things to happen NOW, so I continued to do things my way. What I wasn’t seeing was that I was being prepared for something far greater than what I couldn’t ever imagined for myself. I had to face those trials and tribulations to grow. I had to experience that hurt and discomfort and come out of it because there was someone I was meant to help. HONEST MOMENT: I was pissed at God for a long time. I couldn’t understand how I could be going through stuff the way I was and not feel relief. The moment I realized every tear I cried, every sleepless night, every bounced check was God’s way of getting MY attention, I surrendered. He wanted me to acknowledge him as Almighty..not money and not my relationships. It didn’t matter what I had/have planned for my life. God’s plan and timing is what matters. I’m not where I want to be, but I thank God I’m not where I used to be. I embrace what everyday holds and know I’m in that moment for a reason. “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” ~Romans 5:3-4~
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